Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
