Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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