i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
