I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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