You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
