worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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