You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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