So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Don't EVER smell your tampon
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
