so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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