so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
