also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I think people are normalizing furries
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
