I want to stick my p in your. b.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
