Heybabeimwearingurpanties
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
