woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
