I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
