am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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