You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
