My sheets look like a crime scene.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
