I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
