no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize