Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
