Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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