Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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