There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
