Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
