I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize