What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
