I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
