I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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