There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
