No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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