In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
