the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
