I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
