my mouth tastes like poor choices
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize