Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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