just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
