Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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