I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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