EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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