he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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