Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize