Well douche your snatch and let's go!
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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