I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
