Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
