It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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