Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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