Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
