Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
