Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
