i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
