Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
