I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
