He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
