The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
being pregnant is like rehab
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
