We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
