I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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