i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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