Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
