come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize