i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
