he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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