You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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