singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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