I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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