i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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